Mamas in Faith

 Honest worship
Scripture– I heard, and I trembled within; my lips quivered at the sound. Rottenness entered my bones; I trembled where I stood. Now I must quietly wait for the day of distress to come against the people invading us. Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails, and the fields produce no food, though the flocks disappear from the pen and there are no herds in the stalls, yet I will celebrate in the Lord; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! The Lord my Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like those of a deer
and enables me to walk on mountain heights! Habakkuk 3:16-19
Identification – Standing there with tears streaming down, the constant noise of beeps, alarms, and pressure changes from the machine helping the tiny human breathing. It feels as if all hope has been taken away as they speak the words you never wanted to hear about someone you barley know yet have known their whole life. Just like Habakkuk stood there and trembled awaiting invasion. You stand there seeing what you thought was answered prayers slowing turning into hundreds of no’s just like the bare fig trees. When all seems lost it can feel as if it is time to be angry with God. It feels socially acceptable to not want to pray. It can feel as if God isn’t even there anymore.
Direction – Even when everything feels like it is slipping away, we must rejoice in the Lord because he is the one who saves us. He is the one we can draw our strength from. He is the one that can make the heavy feet be able to make the next step. Your love for God does not have to end because of times of grief, sorrow or pain. In these verses we can clearly see that we are called to rejoice in Him even when all seems lost, and we are about to face even more.
I will never forget trying to sign paperwork for a transfer team with tears streaming down my face. There I was thinking I would be visiting my baby in the NICU after a halfway decent night of postpartum hospital sleep only to be woken up by a NICU attending saying they were going to need to transfer my tiny human to a higher level of care at a different hospital because he was no longer stable enough to stay in the lower level. As I touched his frail foot before they whisked him away, I felt my whole world changing even more than it had two days prior. There I was with unanswered prayers awaiting the invasion of worse things to come. What I didn’t know then was what I truly needed was to worship God for that transfer, to pour out my heart and rejoice for the higher level of care that would ultimately save my tiny mans life. It was by God’s strength that we made it through that day. And it is with God’s strength that you will be able to rejoice in Him today.
It has been said that in order to be in honest worship we must come to God with a broken spirit.1 I don’t think there is a time more broken and shattered that I have faced then being a mother in the NICU. In Plasm 51:15-17 is says “Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not want a sacrifice, or I would give it; you are not pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. You will not despise a broken and humbled heart, God.” We must have the courage to be filled with praise even when all hope seems lost. We do not need to do anything farfetched to please God. We must offer up our honest
worship to him, with our broken spirit and humble heart. Because “Authentic worship is a function of the heart.”
Encouragement –Even though all hope may seem lost right now it doesn’t have to be. You are hearing the constant hum of a myriad of machines, the words that sound foreign in this uncharted territory and you see your tiny human looking so frail, there is strength to be found in the Lord. If you have the time to read Hebrews 11, I encourage you to take that time because in those verses we can see the remind that by faith God provides something better for us. On one of my most difficult days during my sons NICU journey this song reminded me to worship even in the dark days.

Hallelujah Even Here
Right now I feel a little overwhelmed
Right now I could really use some help
Right now I don’t feel like it is well with my soul I’ve tried to find a way around the mess
I’ve prayed in faith that the night would end Right here when I just can’t understand
I’ll lift my hands
Hallelujah, when the storm is relentless Hallelujah, when the battle is endless In the middle of the in between
In the middle of the questioning
Over every worry, every fear Hallelujah, even here Hallelujah, even here
Somehow I bow and my heart gets free Too far, too hard becomes so easy
I find peace here in surrendering
In letting go


Hallelujah, when the storm is relentless Hallelujah, when the battle is endless In the middle of the in between
In the middle of the questioning
Over every worry, every fear Hallelujah, even here
Hallelujah, even here, yeah, yeah
Sometimes nothing left to give
Ooh, becomes the sweetest offering And sometimes choosing just to sing Is the thing that changes everything
Hallelujah, when the storm is relentless Hallelujah, when the battle is endless In the middle of the in between
In the middle of the questioning
Over every worry, every fear Hallelujah, even here Hallelujah, even here
Hallelujah, even here
Application – There are multiple times in the bible that remind us to draw on the strength of the Lord. This can be done through honest worship; worship that is done from a broken humble spirit. I know that rejoicing or singing out in a “joyful noise” may feel like the last thing you should do right now, but I wonder how different your heart would feel if you gave it a try.